To blog or not to blog...here?

To all my readers...Yep all 4 of you!! ;^) I'm not sure if I will keep this site going?? I am/will be posting spiritual thoughts/stuggles (don't know why I just labeled that spiritual...everything is spiritual, right?!?), news worthy stuff, and devotional/study kinda of stuff on the Realities blog for Engage-Reality - so I'm not sure if I'll continue this one?!?

Who knows?

God is doing some mega overhaul in my life - so maybe this site needs to be where that stuggle plays out, maybe it needs to be where my very human-ness can be said (that is "saying" what needs to be "said" without filters...pretty much, what it has been all along!!), or maybe I'll change the title and this will be the New Adventures of Marcus and Christy with a Baby (and 6 animals...what were we thinking)??!!

So either way, stay tuned here and go visit http://www.engage-reality.blogspot.com/
Until next time...stay aware and be blessed!

And PS - Yes, rumor is true (if there were any?!?!) I AM writting a book! Marcus has encouraged and dared me enough. The outcome remains to be seen - apologizes ahead of time to the family...What am I saying, they don't read this...God knows they don't read BOOKS, so I'm safe!! Ha, Ha. :^) (Just joking if anyone of you are reading this!!!)

30-Day Sex Challenge

PLEASE...You KNOW I had to blog about this one!!! First you have to read the article:

YBOR CITY, Fla. - Florida pastor Paul Wirth wants his parishioners to make love -- a whole lot of love. The pastor for Relevant Church in Ybor City is challenging the couples in his congregation to get busy in bed every night for a month.

Wirth said the supposed 50 percent divorce rate is the reason behind the 30-Day Sex Challenge.

He said too many couples let the stress of jobs and daily life get in the way of intimacy. But there's a catch to the pastor's every day sex challenge -- it's for married couples only.

Unmarried people -- even if they are in a long-term relationship or living with someone -- are asked to abstain from sex for 30 days.

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This is the MOST insensitive and ignorant thing I have heard the church come up with yet! Seriously, having more sex will decrease the divorce rate?!?! Humm. Yes the pastor is male. Don't get me wrong sex is great, we enjoy it as often as possible, but every day for 30 days. NO THANK YOU! Sex should NEVER be a challenge (again, male mindset here! - what do you win if you make it every day??) Sex is intiment, best when it is spontaneous, and sex is ONLY sex when it is mutual. (otherwise, we call that rape!)

Here is a list of why we find this insensitive:

- This has to set couples up for failure. Depending on sex to strengthen a relationship is empty. True sexuality is mind, soul, and body - it is spiritual. You have to have 3 “flames” to be completely satisfied. Let me explain with three Hebrew words:
Raya - Friendship. We have to enjoy each other, like each other's company, share things in common. Ahava – this is having a deep affection for someone (mind and heart) – this isn’t an emotion. It is a passionate commitment for this relationship. Dode – this is the sexual element of relationship. Notice it is the last flame. But it is not just the act of sex, it is knowing that sex with this one person is it, that it is for no one else and only this person can “turn you on” on that level. Biblically is not about having it all the time! To build a relationship on just one “Flame” is not going to lead to a healthy relationship. (Rob Bell explains this beautifully on Flame the Nooma.com series.)

- Men only need sex? That is insensitive and degrading to say men’s needs are obvious and women’s needs are complex. Guys think about that – don’t you need to be heard, to have your partner ask how your day went, don’t you want your wife to do something nice for you just because?? Men aren’t one dimensional.

- What about … that time? Women really don’t want to have sex everyday of the month if you know what I mean!!!

- Does consent go out the door for a challenge given by your pastor?? What if you are tired or just not in the mood? Are they advocating marital rape? (Remember if your partner says no and you keep saying yes; we’d call that date rape among our teens.)

- Check out the logo. Objectification, Objectification it is EVERYWHERE - high heels, short skirt, shinny smooth tan-fit legs all wrapped around a man - most men's fantasy. While the men are fully clothed – nothing special!! And the one’s having sex are professionally dress = successful. Need we go on….

Now for some reason I (Christy) am called opinionated. Now I do find that label offensive. Yep I have opinions, we all do. But I share mine when asked (unless you read my blog, then you chose to hear it!) and when I've thought through an issue. (But too often I have to hear other Christian’s random, thoughtless, disrespectful opinions - who think that just because I am a Christian too I share that thought. Don't be quick to paint me with the same brush!!) I am ALWAYS open to seeking first to understand. Now I have read this article several place watched a couple of videos and gone to the website. They do have a questionnaire that deals with more than sex for the couples to think about. But my question is do they have enough trained counselors on hand for all the issues that will come up just by having couples honestly answer these questions?? (This questionnaire almost ruined my relationship with Marcus early into our marriage!) So if you disagree with me or know more about the church I’d love to hear it. But if not, don’t call me opinionated call me passionate about healthy sexuality, sexuality the way God intended it not westernized thoughts. God bless Relevant Church for talking about sex and allowing their members to share their opinions (the church must talk openly about sex). In my opinion, this just wasn't the best way to reach stronger, healthier relationships - but we live in a world that wants to be entertained and shocked. But we are also to be in the world not of it!

So here is a bold "opinioned" statement:

Mega Churches Enough with your Shock Value Sermons - God doesn't need them or want them. Stop entertaining and try the Great "Suggestion" start making disciples of Christ, not yourselves!!

by Christy and Marcus

It's Been One Week...

(That title would make a catchy little pop song!!)
It has been a week since I've left Foothills Alliance to Engage-Reality, and what a week it has been. We have about 70 or so books on our dinning room table ready to be posted on our site as soon as we have a store up and running. It is crazy how long it takes to write something totally "new" and "orginal" (there's really nothing new under the sun, but we try)! I guess my first book will be out in a couple of YEARS!! But the designing, writing, and creative process is always fun, though overwhelming at times. It can be a daunting task explaining your passion on a website! Marcus and I have been reading some fabulous books (most will be available on the web-site soon; I'm learning how to give shameless plugs). But they have really challenged us to question our faith, to put action to our beliefs, and all the studing has brought us closer together. Which has made me realize why I'm not a fan of men and women only bible studys...we need each other to make sense of this world and the kingdom. Men and women work best together, side by side! I need his prospective and he needs mine. OK that was a free random sidenote! But as excited my week has been, I've praying for friends and family that aren't going through exciting times right now. We know God works all things for good and one day it will be exciting to see how God worked, but going through the valley is never easy. So realities are all very different, but our God is the same.

Random Political Observations

I am exhausted of campaign commercials. Do they realize NO ONE is saying anything new? But I have been aware of my surroundings lately. I just wanted to note some of the "bizarre" thoughts I've come across: (hope not to offend too many)

- a few weeks ago there was talk about capitol punishment - lethal injection is now "cruel and unusual punishment." So when is MURDER of any kind NOT CRUEL AND UNUSUAL???!!!

- all this talk of "pro-life" now with the presidential campaign, enough already, I am convinced that NOT ONE candidate is truly pro-life. As a matter of fact, I don't know too many people that are. How can we value one life over another, somehow I don't think that is biblical. So it doesn't make much sense to be antiabortion and pro-death penalty. (Just my opinion)

- and praise God that we finally live in a country that we have options - a black man and a woman running for President. That's change. You do realize that little Declaration of Independence saying, "All men are created equal" really meant all WHITE MEN. And while I'm on that, way to go Gov Mark Sanford for bringing out the inequality SC government was founded on.

- please stop using Jesus Christ to be your ticket into the oval office! Just stop it.

- And would someone PLEASE tell Cracker Barrel that brown rice is NOT a vegetable!

Here's what I think about the election: THERE'S NEVER BEEN A SAVIOR UP ON CAPITOL HILL -
I’m so tired of these mortal men
with their hands on their wallets and their hearts full of sin
scared of their enemies, scared of their friends
and always running for re-election
so come to DC if it be thy will
because we’ve never had a savior on Capitol Hill

you can always trust the devil or a politician
to be the devil or a politician
but beyond that friends you’d best beware
‘cause at the Pentagon bar they’re an inseparable pair
and as long as the lobbyists are paying their bills
we’ll never have a savior on Capitol Hill

[Bridge]
all of our problems gonna disappear
when we can whisper right in that President’s ear
he could walk right across the reflection pool
in his combat boots and ten thousand dollar suit

you can render unto Caesar everything that’s his
you can trust in his power to come to your defense
it’s the way of the world, the way of the gun
it’s the trading of an evil for a lesser one
so don’t hold your breath or your vote until
you think you’ve finally found a savior up on Capitol Hill

-Thank you again, by Mr. Derek Webb

A New Year

A new year, time for a change. 2007 was the year for God to disturb life in our comfortable household. 2008 is the year for new things:
1. To put old ways of thinking aside
2. To bury parts of the past that had become so comfortable with, I didn't realize I was still holding on.
3. To separate Facts from Reality
4. To put Jesus' desires to action in our lives
5. A resignation!
6. And sooner or later...a baby!
God's doing a new thing!

A New Law

There are several songs that I wished I had written in my lifetime. But at this point in my life, my thoughts and struggles (many being about the church); Derek Webb got to write them first!! (ha, not that I am in anyway comparing my pitiful rants to his writing!!) Society, and sadly the church, just takes whatever comes down the pike. We sit through a sermon and go "okay that's truth because the pastor said so." No one questions or studies for themselves anymore - it is too hard, so just let someone else have an opinion and we'll adopt it as our own without holding it to Scripture or our values and standards. All without any regard of how dangerous that can be. Here's a great video and one of those songs I wish I had written!

Reality

I spent my 32nd birthday in an incredible way today. Believe it or not, I haven't truly celebrated my birthday in 16 years. However, I was determined that this year would be different. My not celebrating doesn't mean that good things didn't happen - I've bought a new car and closed on a house on December 15th. God has given me blessings and Marcus has worked really hard for 12 years to make sure I had good birthday's. But when your soul is wounded, blessings are sometimes hard to see. And when a soul bruised facts and reality can be distorted.

Marcus and I spent about 2 hours this morning with about 20 beautiful people feeding the down-and-out and homeless of our city. Most people I know would never spend a birthday serving others, especially those not in their socioeconomic background, and really not a birthday that they would consider a milestone. But that is exactly what made sense to me.

I met 65 year old, Mr. Brown. From Memphis, he' s moved a lot, but never goes anywhere without his harmonic and probably a Miller Light in his pocket. I spent a lot of time just sitting and listening to his stories (and did he have some stories?!). He played with Chuck Berry, Al Green and Marvin Gay "back in the day"- even had a few stories of their private lives. He is a bass player, says he has an upright bass, and is a soulful singer. If you look in his eyes, you'll know he has seen better days and been tough difficult years. There are moments he is still thankful and even gives the advice of "Keep your stuff, don't give it away! You never know when you'll need it again." But truth is all that he has is that old harmonic, a Miller Light, the food we just gave him and whatever is in his white trash bag that he carries over his shoulder.

Then Steven stopped by. Now Steven has always dropped in on cook out days; for a burger of course, but more so for the conversation. If you saw Steven walking down the street with his dog you'd probably cross over. He is probably not as old as he looks and doesn't see a razor often, but he loves his dog and will feed it before himself any day. You'd think he was homeless, but he has a modest job and a simple house. Steven has stories too. He earned a Master's degree and had a good paying job - but found drugs and lost it all. He told us about his wealthy brother who "writes a check for $500 to his church every week but he is the most mean-spirited man he knows." Today Steven did something I've never expected, he pulled me aside, handed me a bag and said, "You give these out to those you think need it. It's cold, people need gloves." With tears in my eyes I took the bag, shook his hand tightly, and told him thank you. I looked in the bag and there were probably a dozen yard gloves from the Feed and Seed store down the street. Then I looked around at the crowd of about 40 men and women, I was a little overwhelmed. I thought - "Who needs these the most?" "Where do I start?" The first pair a give out was to a grateful man, who said, "Thank you, but can get an extra pair for my friend over by the cars? He won't come over." I hesitated, thinking there aren't enough, but handed him a pair anyway. Then I gave some to a group of 4 or 5 guys, then a few women. When the food line started people the began asking for gloves. Remember in my glance in the small bag - 12 gloves. Most adults in the line got a pair of gloves!?! You do the math! I can't explain it, it was just GOD.

The fact is Steven doesn't have much. But the reality is he saw a need, gave what he could and God took care of the rest. We really confuse facts with reality. Fact is people look at Mr. Brown and see a nobody. But the reality is that he is royalty in God's eyes.

The fact is I wasted a whole lot of years not truly valuing a life that God gave me. I held on to the past - one birthday that was pretty horrible. An unfolding of a year's worth of abuses and manipulation in one day. The fact is by holding on to that moment, I was allowing someone else to define my reality. The fact is some bad things happened...and happen to all of us, but the reality is holding on, holds us back. Whether it is one day or a lifetime. God created us all in his image, we all have value and purpose. We just have move on, let go, believe, and trust.

SO I celebrated today - with some really great people, with really great stories. Probably not many people know that for 16 years I've hated my birthday, but that was my reality. We don't know other's reality. Sometime we know the facts, but that doesn't define reality. So dare to engage in the reality of others!