What I'm Reading ...

By Christine Caine

I could have totally knocked the first half of this book out tonight! (The last half is a 30 day devotional.) It is incredible, a total God appointed book and time. Never heard of Christine before, I was just walking down the Christian Living isle at Books-A-Million and the title caught my eye (what a concept!!!). I have been highlighting like a mad woman, journaling, and studying - I don't want to miss anything!! Read it if you dare!!

Thankfulness

Well, despite the clumsiness and mishaps of the weekend (falling down while walking the dog, dropping a plate and breaking a glass at the Thanksgiving meal, and getting bit while breaking up a dog fight) I still have a few things to be thankful for...(in no particular order!)

1. Marcus, the best husband and best friend anyone could ever ask for! He is the only person I can spend every waking moment with and not want to commit a felony. Most days I can't believe he choose me!
2. Our 4-legged, furry children - all 6 of them!
3. Knowing that God is in control of our future family plans and the one to come.
4. The gift of music. I say gift, because for me that's what it is, one of those extras from God.
5. The moment that guitars brought conversation back between my brothers and me.
6. Family... God given and those chosen (friends).
7. Peace of mind
8. Home
9. Did I mention my red-hot husband???
10. Waiting and being uncomfortable
11. Our church, and the REAL people it is made of.
12. GOD, for creation, sacrifice, breath, love, forgiveness, hope, strength, justice, counsel, peace, salvation, and purpose for living.

Waiting, anyone?

I have sat down to post a couple of times in the last week or so, even had some decent ideas, but I said I'd wait for later. We have been to some great concerts, found some great new music, read some great articles and stories, there have been even a few great movies. There hasn't been a lack of things to write about. I think I've just been waiting on...something else.

God has been steadily putting things on the table for me to think about, and I have just been trying to listen and wait. What a painful word right now, but it IS my life at this season! I have never been good at it, I never even been decent at it. But that is where I am with everything right now: just waiting. How does that happen all at once??? I don't know. But waiting and grieving at the same time is just one thing...misery. But you have to get through grieving to move on. (And that is a very different blog!)

Waiting makes you ask stupid things like: What did I do, that they have this but I can't? Or what didn't I do? Why is this happening to me (or us)? Wow, it can really make you selfish if you let it!! But really, I am okay in the waiting this time, because I know it is all in God's timing. I know that sounds cliche' but the older I get I realize that I don't want that watch, I just screw things up.

So I don't have a lot of answers right now for anything in my life. That's okay, I don't think the world will stop and in 5 years all of this will seem like minutes. God has proven faithful throughout my life, even when I dared or cursed him. God will continue to be faithful, he has given me a new promise:
"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" -Isaiah 30:18

One day I will figure this all out and maybe have a great story to share, but for now I'll wait.

Lamentations 3: 22-23

"The unfailing love of the Lord never ends! By his mercies we have been kept from complete destruction!! Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each day. "

Thank God for new mercies everyday! That takes away some stress, because I know I do not have the ability in myself to get it right most days. I don't fully understand God's unfailing, steadfast love but I'm grateful for it and unworthy of it. It is only by the self-giving of Christ, that I am not eradicated at the very moment I breath his name!

So with all the world's chaos and sadness, and with all the do-over's of my life...I am glad God's love never ends!