Reality

I spent my 32nd birthday in an incredible way today. Believe it or not, I haven't truly celebrated my birthday in 16 years. However, I was determined that this year would be different. My not celebrating doesn't mean that good things didn't happen - I've bought a new car and closed on a house on December 15th. God has given me blessings and Marcus has worked really hard for 12 years to make sure I had good birthday's. But when your soul is wounded, blessings are sometimes hard to see. And when a soul bruised facts and reality can be distorted.

Marcus and I spent about 2 hours this morning with about 20 beautiful people feeding the down-and-out and homeless of our city. Most people I know would never spend a birthday serving others, especially those not in their socioeconomic background, and really not a birthday that they would consider a milestone. But that is exactly what made sense to me.

I met 65 year old, Mr. Brown. From Memphis, he' s moved a lot, but never goes anywhere without his harmonic and probably a Miller Light in his pocket. I spent a lot of time just sitting and listening to his stories (and did he have some stories?!). He played with Chuck Berry, Al Green and Marvin Gay "back in the day"- even had a few stories of their private lives. He is a bass player, says he has an upright bass, and is a soulful singer. If you look in his eyes, you'll know he has seen better days and been tough difficult years. There are moments he is still thankful and even gives the advice of "Keep your stuff, don't give it away! You never know when you'll need it again." But truth is all that he has is that old harmonic, a Miller Light, the food we just gave him and whatever is in his white trash bag that he carries over his shoulder.

Then Steven stopped by. Now Steven has always dropped in on cook out days; for a burger of course, but more so for the conversation. If you saw Steven walking down the street with his dog you'd probably cross over. He is probably not as old as he looks and doesn't see a razor often, but he loves his dog and will feed it before himself any day. You'd think he was homeless, but he has a modest job and a simple house. Steven has stories too. He earned a Master's degree and had a good paying job - but found drugs and lost it all. He told us about his wealthy brother who "writes a check for $500 to his church every week but he is the most mean-spirited man he knows." Today Steven did something I've never expected, he pulled me aside, handed me a bag and said, "You give these out to those you think need it. It's cold, people need gloves." With tears in my eyes I took the bag, shook his hand tightly, and told him thank you. I looked in the bag and there were probably a dozen yard gloves from the Feed and Seed store down the street. Then I looked around at the crowd of about 40 men and women, I was a little overwhelmed. I thought - "Who needs these the most?" "Where do I start?" The first pair a give out was to a grateful man, who said, "Thank you, but can get an extra pair for my friend over by the cars? He won't come over." I hesitated, thinking there aren't enough, but handed him a pair anyway. Then I gave some to a group of 4 or 5 guys, then a few women. When the food line started people the began asking for gloves. Remember in my glance in the small bag - 12 gloves. Most adults in the line got a pair of gloves!?! You do the math! I can't explain it, it was just GOD.

The fact is Steven doesn't have much. But the reality is he saw a need, gave what he could and God took care of the rest. We really confuse facts with reality. Fact is people look at Mr. Brown and see a nobody. But the reality is that he is royalty in God's eyes.

The fact is I wasted a whole lot of years not truly valuing a life that God gave me. I held on to the past - one birthday that was pretty horrible. An unfolding of a year's worth of abuses and manipulation in one day. The fact is by holding on to that moment, I was allowing someone else to define my reality. The fact is some bad things happened...and happen to all of us, but the reality is holding on, holds us back. Whether it is one day or a lifetime. God created us all in his image, we all have value and purpose. We just have move on, let go, believe, and trust.

SO I celebrated today - with some really great people, with really great stories. Probably not many people know that for 16 years I've hated my birthday, but that was my reality. We don't know other's reality. Sometime we know the facts, but that doesn't define reality. So dare to engage in the reality of others!