Waiting, anyone?

I have sat down to post a couple of times in the last week or so, even had some decent ideas, but I said I'd wait for later. We have been to some great concerts, found some great new music, read some great articles and stories, there have been even a few great movies. There hasn't been a lack of things to write about. I think I've just been waiting on...something else.

God has been steadily putting things on the table for me to think about, and I have just been trying to listen and wait. What a painful word right now, but it IS my life at this season! I have never been good at it, I never even been decent at it. But that is where I am with everything right now: just waiting. How does that happen all at once??? I don't know. But waiting and grieving at the same time is just one thing...misery. But you have to get through grieving to move on. (And that is a very different blog!)

Waiting makes you ask stupid things like: What did I do, that they have this but I can't? Or what didn't I do? Why is this happening to me (or us)? Wow, it can really make you selfish if you let it!! But really, I am okay in the waiting this time, because I know it is all in God's timing. I know that sounds cliche' but the older I get I realize that I don't want that watch, I just screw things up.

So I don't have a lot of answers right now for anything in my life. That's okay, I don't think the world will stop and in 5 years all of this will seem like minutes. God has proven faithful throughout my life, even when I dared or cursed him. God will continue to be faithful, he has given me a new promise:
"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" -Isaiah 30:18

One day I will figure this all out and maybe have a great story to share, but for now I'll wait.