To all my readers...Yep all 4 of you!! ;^) I'm not sure if I will keep this site going?? I am/will be posting spiritual thoughts/stuggles (don't know why I just labeled that spiritual...everything is spiritual, right?!?), news worthy stuff, and devotional/study kinda of stuff on the Realities blog for Engage-Reality - so I'm not sure if I'll continue this one?!?
Who knows?
God is doing some mega overhaul in my life - so maybe this site needs to be where that stuggle plays out, maybe it needs to be where my very human-ness can be said (that is "saying" what needs to be "said" without filters...pretty much, what it has been all along!!), or maybe I'll change the title and this will be the New Adventures of Marcus and Christy with a Baby (and 6 animals...what were we thinking)??!!
So either way, stay tuned here and go visit http://www.engage-reality.blogspot.com/
Until next time...stay aware and be blessed!
And PS - Yes, rumor is true (if there were any?!?!) I AM writting a book! Marcus has encouraged and dared me enough. The outcome remains to be seen - apologizes ahead of time to the family...What am I saying, they don't read this...God knows they don't read BOOKS, so I'm safe!! Ha, Ha. :^) (Just joking if anyone of you are reading this!!!)
Monday, February 25, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
30-Day Sex Challenge
PLEASE...You KNOW I had to blog about this one!!! First you have to read the article:
YBOR CITY, Fla. - Florida pastor Paul Wirth wants his parishioners to make love -- a whole lot of love. The pastor for Relevant Church in Ybor City is challenging the couples in his congregation to get busy in bed every night for a month.
Wirth said the supposed 50 percent divorce rate is the reason behind the 30-Day Sex Challenge.
He said too many couples let the stress of jobs and daily life get in the way of intimacy. But there's a catch to the pastor's every day sex challenge -- it's for married couples only.
Unmarried people -- even if they are in a long-term relationship or living with someone -- are asked to abstain from sex for 30 days.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is the MOST insensitive and ignorant thing I have heard the church come up with yet! Seriously, having more sex will decrease the divorce rate?!?! Humm. Yes the pastor is male. Don't get me wrong sex is great, we enjoy it as often as possible, but every day for 30 days. NO THANK YOU! Sex should NEVER be a challenge (again, male mindset here! - what do you win if you make it every day??) Sex is intiment, best when it is spontaneous, and sex is ONLY sex when it is mutual. (otherwise, we call that rape!)
Here is a list of why we find this insensitive:
- This has to set couples up for failure. Depending on sex to strengthen a relationship is empty. True sexuality is mind, soul, and body - it is spiritual. You have to have 3 “flames” to be completely satisfied. Let me explain with three Hebrew words:
Raya - Friendship. We have to enjoy each other, like each other's company, share things in common. Ahava – this is having a deep affection for someone (mind and heart) – this isn’t an emotion. It is a passionate commitment for this relationship. Dode – this is the sexual element of relationship. Notice it is the last flame. But it is not just the act of sex, it is knowing that sex with this one person is it, that it is for no one else and only this person can “turn you on” on that level. Biblically is not about having it all the time! To build a relationship on just one “Flame” is not going to lead to a healthy relationship. (Rob Bell explains this beautifully on Flame the Nooma.com series.)
- Men only need sex? That is insensitive and degrading to say men’s needs are obvious and women’s needs are complex. Guys think about that – don’t you need to be heard, to have your partner ask how your day went, don’t you want your wife to do something nice for you just because?? Men aren’t one dimensional.
- What about … that time? Women really don’t want to have sex everyday of the month if you know what I mean!!!
- Does consent go out the door for a challenge given by your pastor?? What if you are tired or just not in the mood? Are they advocating marital rape? (Remember if your partner says no and you keep saying yes; we’d call that date rape among our teens.)
- Check out the logo. Objectification, Objectification it is EVERYWHERE - high heels, short skirt, shinny smooth tan-fit legs all wrapped around a man - most men's fantasy. While the men are fully clothed – nothing special!! And the one’s having sex are professionally dress = successful. Need we go on….
Now for some reason I (Christy) am called opinionated. Now I do find that label offensive. Yep I have opinions, we all do. But I share mine when asked (unless you read my blog, then you chose to hear it!) and when I've thought through an issue. (But too often I have to hear other Christian’s random, thoughtless, disrespectful opinions - who think that just because I am a Christian too I share that thought. Don't be quick to paint me with the same brush!!) I am ALWAYS open to seeking first to understand. Now I have read this article several place watched a couple of videos and gone to the website. They do have a questionnaire that deals with more than sex for the couples to think about. But my question is do they have enough trained counselors on hand for all the issues that will come up just by having couples honestly answer these questions?? (This questionnaire almost ruined my relationship with Marcus early into our marriage!) So if you disagree with me or know more about the church I’d love to hear it. But if not, don’t call me opinionated call me passionate about healthy sexuality, sexuality the way God intended it not westernized thoughts. God bless Relevant Church for talking about sex and allowing their members to share their opinions (the church must talk openly about sex). In my opinion, this just wasn't the best way to reach stronger, healthier relationships - but we live in a world that wants to be entertained and shocked. But we are also to be in the world not of it!
So here is a bold "opinioned" statement:
Mega Churches Enough with your Shock Value Sermons - God doesn't need them or want them. Stop entertaining and try the Great "Suggestion" start making disciples of Christ, not yourselves!!
by Christy and Marcus
YBOR CITY, Fla. - Florida pastor Paul Wirth wants his parishioners to make love -- a whole lot of love. The pastor for Relevant Church in Ybor City is challenging the couples in his congregation to get busy in bed every night for a month.
Wirth said the supposed 50 percent divorce rate is the reason behind the 30-Day Sex Challenge.
He said too many couples let the stress of jobs and daily life get in the way of intimacy. But there's a catch to the pastor's every day sex challenge -- it's for married couples only.
Unmarried people -- even if they are in a long-term relationship or living with someone -- are asked to abstain from sex for 30 days.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is the MOST insensitive and ignorant thing I have heard the church come up with yet! Seriously, having more sex will decrease the divorce rate?!?! Humm. Yes the pastor is male. Don't get me wrong sex is great, we enjoy it as often as possible, but every day for 30 days. NO THANK YOU! Sex should NEVER be a challenge (again, male mindset here! - what do you win if you make it every day??) Sex is intiment, best when it is spontaneous, and sex is ONLY sex when it is mutual. (otherwise, we call that rape!)
Here is a list of why we find this insensitive:
- This has to set couples up for failure. Depending on sex to strengthen a relationship is empty. True sexuality is mind, soul, and body - it is spiritual. You have to have 3 “flames” to be completely satisfied. Let me explain with three Hebrew words:
Raya - Friendship. We have to enjoy each other, like each other's company, share things in common. Ahava – this is having a deep affection for someone (mind and heart) – this isn’t an emotion. It is a passionate commitment for this relationship. Dode – this is the sexual element of relationship. Notice it is the last flame. But it is not just the act of sex, it is knowing that sex with this one person is it, that it is for no one else and only this person can “turn you on” on that level. Biblically is not about having it all the time! To build a relationship on just one “Flame” is not going to lead to a healthy relationship. (Rob Bell explains this beautifully on Flame the Nooma.com series.)
- Men only need sex? That is insensitive and degrading to say men’s needs are obvious and women’s needs are complex. Guys think about that – don’t you need to be heard, to have your partner ask how your day went, don’t you want your wife to do something nice for you just because?? Men aren’t one dimensional.
- What about … that time? Women really don’t want to have sex everyday of the month if you know what I mean!!!
- Does consent go out the door for a challenge given by your pastor?? What if you are tired or just not in the mood? Are they advocating marital rape? (Remember if your partner says no and you keep saying yes; we’d call that date rape among our teens.)
- Check out the logo. Objectification, Objectification it is EVERYWHERE - high heels, short skirt, shinny smooth tan-fit legs all wrapped around a man - most men's fantasy. While the men are fully clothed – nothing special!! And the one’s having sex are professionally dress = successful. Need we go on….
Now for some reason I (Christy) am called opinionated. Now I do find that label offensive. Yep I have opinions, we all do. But I share mine when asked (unless you read my blog, then you chose to hear it!) and when I've thought through an issue. (But too often I have to hear other Christian’s random, thoughtless, disrespectful opinions - who think that just because I am a Christian too I share that thought. Don't be quick to paint me with the same brush!!) I am ALWAYS open to seeking first to understand. Now I have read this article several place watched a couple of videos and gone to the website. They do have a questionnaire that deals with more than sex for the couples to think about. But my question is do they have enough trained counselors on hand for all the issues that will come up just by having couples honestly answer these questions?? (This questionnaire almost ruined my relationship with Marcus early into our marriage!) So if you disagree with me or know more about the church I’d love to hear it. But if not, don’t call me opinionated call me passionate about healthy sexuality, sexuality the way God intended it not westernized thoughts. God bless Relevant Church for talking about sex and allowing their members to share their opinions (the church must talk openly about sex). In my opinion, this just wasn't the best way to reach stronger, healthier relationships - but we live in a world that wants to be entertained and shocked. But we are also to be in the world not of it!
So here is a bold "opinioned" statement:
Mega Churches Enough with your Shock Value Sermons - God doesn't need them or want them. Stop entertaining and try the Great "Suggestion" start making disciples of Christ, not yourselves!!
by Christy and Marcus
Monday, February 4, 2008
It's Been One Week...
(That title would make a catchy little pop song!!)
It has been a week since I've left Foothills Alliance to Engage-Reality, and what a week it has been. We have about 70 or so books on our dinning room table ready to be posted on our site as soon as we have a store up and running. It is crazy how long it takes to write something totally "new" and "orginal" (there's really nothing new under the sun, but we try)! I guess my first book will be out in a couple of YEARS!! But the designing, writing, and creative process is always fun, though overwhelming at times. It can be a daunting task explaining your passion on a website! Marcus and I have been reading some fabulous books (most will be available on the web-site soon; I'm learning how to give shameless plugs). But they have really challenged us to question our faith, to put action to our beliefs, and all the studing has brought us closer together. Which has made me realize why I'm not a fan of men and women only bible studys...we need each other to make sense of this world and the kingdom. Men and women work best together, side by side! I need his prospective and he needs mine. OK that was a free random sidenote! But as excited my week has been, I've praying for friends and family that aren't going through exciting times right now. We know God works all things for good and one day it will be exciting to see how God worked, but going through the valley is never easy. So realities are all very different, but our God is the same.
It has been a week since I've left Foothills Alliance to Engage-Reality, and what a week it has been. We have about 70 or so books on our dinning room table ready to be posted on our site as soon as we have a store up and running. It is crazy how long it takes to write something totally "new" and "orginal" (there's really nothing new under the sun, but we try)! I guess my first book will be out in a couple of YEARS!! But the designing, writing, and creative process is always fun, though overwhelming at times. It can be a daunting task explaining your passion on a website! Marcus and I have been reading some fabulous books (most will be available on the web-site soon; I'm learning how to give shameless plugs). But they have really challenged us to question our faith, to put action to our beliefs, and all the studing has brought us closer together. Which has made me realize why I'm not a fan of men and women only bible studys...we need each other to make sense of this world and the kingdom. Men and women work best together, side by side! I need his prospective and he needs mine. OK that was a free random sidenote! But as excited my week has been, I've praying for friends and family that aren't going through exciting times right now. We know God works all things for good and one day it will be exciting to see how God worked, but going through the valley is never easy. So realities are all very different, but our God is the same.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
