30-Day Sex Challenge

PLEASE...You KNOW I had to blog about this one!!! First you have to read the article:

YBOR CITY, Fla. - Florida pastor Paul Wirth wants his parishioners to make love -- a whole lot of love. The pastor for Relevant Church in Ybor City is challenging the couples in his congregation to get busy in bed every night for a month.

Wirth said the supposed 50 percent divorce rate is the reason behind the 30-Day Sex Challenge.

He said too many couples let the stress of jobs and daily life get in the way of intimacy. But there's a catch to the pastor's every day sex challenge -- it's for married couples only.

Unmarried people -- even if they are in a long-term relationship or living with someone -- are asked to abstain from sex for 30 days.

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This is the MOST insensitive and ignorant thing I have heard the church come up with yet! Seriously, having more sex will decrease the divorce rate?!?! Humm. Yes the pastor is male. Don't get me wrong sex is great, we enjoy it as often as possible, but every day for 30 days. NO THANK YOU! Sex should NEVER be a challenge (again, male mindset here! - what do you win if you make it every day??) Sex is intiment, best when it is spontaneous, and sex is ONLY sex when it is mutual. (otherwise, we call that rape!)

Here is a list of why we find this insensitive:

- This has to set couples up for failure. Depending on sex to strengthen a relationship is empty. True sexuality is mind, soul, and body - it is spiritual. You have to have 3 “flames” to be completely satisfied. Let me explain with three Hebrew words:
Raya - Friendship. We have to enjoy each other, like each other's company, share things in common. Ahava – this is having a deep affection for someone (mind and heart) – this isn’t an emotion. It is a passionate commitment for this relationship. Dode – this is the sexual element of relationship. Notice it is the last flame. But it is not just the act of sex, it is knowing that sex with this one person is it, that it is for no one else and only this person can “turn you on” on that level. Biblically is not about having it all the time! To build a relationship on just one “Flame” is not going to lead to a healthy relationship. (Rob Bell explains this beautifully on Flame the Nooma.com series.)

- Men only need sex? That is insensitive and degrading to say men’s needs are obvious and women’s needs are complex. Guys think about that – don’t you need to be heard, to have your partner ask how your day went, don’t you want your wife to do something nice for you just because?? Men aren’t one dimensional.

- What about … that time? Women really don’t want to have sex everyday of the month if you know what I mean!!!

- Does consent go out the door for a challenge given by your pastor?? What if you are tired or just not in the mood? Are they advocating marital rape? (Remember if your partner says no and you keep saying yes; we’d call that date rape among our teens.)

- Check out the logo. Objectification, Objectification it is EVERYWHERE - high heels, short skirt, shinny smooth tan-fit legs all wrapped around a man - most men's fantasy. While the men are fully clothed – nothing special!! And the one’s having sex are professionally dress = successful. Need we go on….

Now for some reason I (Christy) am called opinionated. Now I do find that label offensive. Yep I have opinions, we all do. But I share mine when asked (unless you read my blog, then you chose to hear it!) and when I've thought through an issue. (But too often I have to hear other Christian’s random, thoughtless, disrespectful opinions - who think that just because I am a Christian too I share that thought. Don't be quick to paint me with the same brush!!) I am ALWAYS open to seeking first to understand. Now I have read this article several place watched a couple of videos and gone to the website. They do have a questionnaire that deals with more than sex for the couples to think about. But my question is do they have enough trained counselors on hand for all the issues that will come up just by having couples honestly answer these questions?? (This questionnaire almost ruined my relationship with Marcus early into our marriage!) So if you disagree with me or know more about the church I’d love to hear it. But if not, don’t call me opinionated call me passionate about healthy sexuality, sexuality the way God intended it not westernized thoughts. God bless Relevant Church for talking about sex and allowing their members to share their opinions (the church must talk openly about sex). In my opinion, this just wasn't the best way to reach stronger, healthier relationships - but we live in a world that wants to be entertained and shocked. But we are also to be in the world not of it!

So here is a bold "opinioned" statement:

Mega Churches Enough with your Shock Value Sermons - God doesn't need them or want them. Stop entertaining and try the Great "Suggestion" start making disciples of Christ, not yourselves!!

by Christy and Marcus