Friday, March 7, 2008

A True Hero and Survivor

The story of teenager, Elizabeth Shoaf, was told on Dateline tonight. Her story speaks of the reality of pure evil in our world and the strength to overcome it. I am always moved to hear how others survive sexual assault. Each story in someway pushes me to advocate more. There is so much out there that often doesn't support them - our justice system, myths, stereotypes, even family and friends. I will blog more on this issue later, but for now I wanted to share with you a true survivor. Elizabeth proves the strength and resilience of kids - we adults can learn a lot from her.

This story happened in South Carolina. Elizabeth's story is not the norm. Statistics show that only 10% of abusers in child sexual abuse cases are strangers. 90% of children are sexually abused by people they know and trust.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23522127/ (Dateline Story- In to the Woods)

http://insidedateline.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2008/03/06/739278.aspx (Elizabeth's Blog)

"survivors are part turtle
we are part potato bug
we know enough to go fetal
'til it's still up above" - Ani Difranco

"and what if there are no damsels in distress
what if i knew that and i called your bluff
don't you think every kitten figures out how to get down
whether or not you ever show up" -Ani Difranco

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Love Each Other

I have had a "Godly-prodding" since very early Sunday morning to read John 15. I woke up thinking about these verses about the Vine and the Branches. For 3 days I have read this passage - but I don't think I have really gotten why God felt the need to wake me up at 4 am to tell me about it again. Still working on that one.

But in reading it today my "ADD" kicked in and I got a little side tracked on the chapters before John 15, mainly John 13. I love to highlight when I read...OK, I have to highlight!! I guess it is the way I learn; through using all my senses - some people can just read and it sticks. But I have to read, write it, touch it, and talk about it. Does that mean I am a slow leaner?!? Oh, who cares at this point in life...see there it is again...non-diagnosed ADD, so sorry.

Anyway John 13...I have verses 34 and 35 highlighted and even notes written beside it. So I have thought about this one before. But today it hit me in a brand new way. The beginning of the chapter is where Jesus washes the disciples feet. A most humbling, beautiful moment for the disciples. I think I would be much like Peter - "Jesus you really don't have to wash my feet." Peter is so awesome. Jesus said you don't get it, if I don't wash your feet you can't be a part of what I 'm doing. Then Peter says well in that case...wash my feet, hands and head!! He intentionally wanted to be about doing God's work. But later he denies Jesus not once, not twice, but 3 times! If I was around at the time, I immediately think about the labels I'd put on Peter, anger I'd have toward him. Then I read my highlighted verses later in the chapter.

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. - verse 34-35.

Jesus had spoke numerous times about how the disciples were to love their neighbors. But this verse was a little different, and revolutionary still today. Believers and followers of Christ must love each other (Christians love each other? Told you it was revolutionary)!!! But look again at Peter's comments, right after Jesus says this Peter is asking..."Lord, where are you going"??!!! Did he miss a key point because he was stuck? I can't help but to picture a child at camp the first day... the counselor is going over all the important stuff and you get to the most important rule for the cabin to remember for the week ahead and they ask in the middle of all that, "What's next?" You wonder...Did they just miss the key to living happily together with 11 other random people for a week, without mom and dad I might add?!?

Peter was stuck in a moment...Where was his Rabbi going? Jesus was leaving him physically yes, but first Jesus wanted him to get a key point in working with fellow followers, LOVE THEM. How often do we still get stuck today and we forget we are supposed to love other believers. All the time! A lot of times fellow believers are our worst enemies. Everyone is out doing what they think is the most important thing, then disagree someone else because their opinion is different. I honestly find it easier to love non-Christians more than Christians most days. This idea isn't new and wouldn't surprise Jesus. It was the religious that outraged Jesus most of the time! That is why he said love each other. Because how we love each other is judged by the world. Why would they want to join a group that doesn't love each other anyway?

I got a little out of sorts last Friday night at a Christian concert. There were many reasons, but this one I just can't seem to let go of and I've heard it a million times before. The concert was a fundraiser for a local adoption agency that was raising money for their new program that served orphan's in Ethiopia. I overheard the couples conversation behind me and then loudly the man protested, "Why can't they do something here in the US?" After years of hearing similar protest, I wanted to turn around and ask him what was he doing to make an impact in the US or have you considered domestic adoption? (Thanks to Marcus, I didn't!) We are a body!! How ridiculous would we look if we were all doing the same thing??

Jesus knew that there would be plenty that we would disagree on and he knew that we would judge each other, brutally sometimes. And yes many times Christians are way off base with the things of God. But the great theologian, Rich Mullins said it best, "It is not that some Christians are bad people. They are sometimes just wrong, very wrong."
And Jesus commands us to love them anyway!

Monday, February 25, 2008

To blog or not to blog...here?

To all my readers...Yep all 4 of you!! ;^) I'm not sure if I will keep this site going?? I am/will be posting spiritual thoughts/stuggles (don't know why I just labeled that spiritual...everything is spiritual, right?!?), news worthy stuff, and devotional/study kinda of stuff on the Realities blog for Engage-Reality - so I'm not sure if I'll continue this one?!?

Who knows?

God is doing some mega overhaul in my life - so maybe this site needs to be where that stuggle plays out, maybe it needs to be where my very human-ness can be said (that is "saying" what needs to be "said" without filters...pretty much, what it has been all along!!), or maybe I'll change the title and this will be the New Adventures of Marcus and Christy with a Baby (and 6 animals...what were we thinking)??!!

So either way, stay tuned here and go visit http://www.engage-reality.blogspot.com/
Until next time...stay aware and be blessed!

And PS - Yes, rumor is true (if there were any?!?!) I AM writting a book! Marcus has encouraged and dared me enough. The outcome remains to be seen - apologizes ahead of time to the family...What am I saying, they don't read this...God knows they don't read BOOKS, so I'm safe!! Ha, Ha. :^) (Just joking if anyone of you are reading this!!!)

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

30-Day Sex Challenge

PLEASE...You KNOW I had to blog about this one!!! First you have to read the article:

YBOR CITY, Fla. - Florida pastor Paul Wirth wants his parishioners to make love -- a whole lot of love. The pastor for Relevant Church in Ybor City is challenging the couples in his congregation to get busy in bed every night for a month.

Wirth said the supposed 50 percent divorce rate is the reason behind the 30-Day Sex Challenge.

He said too many couples let the stress of jobs and daily life get in the way of intimacy. But there's a catch to the pastor's every day sex challenge -- it's for married couples only.

Unmarried people -- even if they are in a long-term relationship or living with someone -- are asked to abstain from sex for 30 days.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is the MOST insensitive and ignorant thing I have heard the church come up with yet! Seriously, having more sex will decrease the divorce rate?!?! Humm. Yes the pastor is male. Don't get me wrong sex is great, we enjoy it as often as possible, but every day for 30 days. NO THANK YOU! Sex should NEVER be a challenge (again, male mindset here! - what do you win if you make it every day??) Sex is intiment, best when it is spontaneous, and sex is ONLY sex when it is mutual. (otherwise, we call that rape!)

Here is a list of why we find this insensitive:

- This has to set couples up for failure. Depending on sex to strengthen a relationship is empty. True sexuality is mind, soul, and body - it is spiritual. You have to have 3 “flames” to be completely satisfied. Let me explain with three Hebrew words:
Raya - Friendship. We have to enjoy each other, like each other's company, share things in common. Ahava – this is having a deep affection for someone (mind and heart) – this isn’t an emotion. It is a passionate commitment for this relationship. Dode – this is the sexual element of relationship. Notice it is the last flame. But it is not just the act of sex, it is knowing that sex with this one person is it, that it is for no one else and only this person can “turn you on” on that level. Biblically is not about having it all the time! To build a relationship on just one “Flame” is not going to lead to a healthy relationship. (Rob Bell explains this beautifully on Flame the Nooma.com series.)

- Men only need sex? That is insensitive and degrading to say men’s needs are obvious and women’s needs are complex. Guys think about that – don’t you need to be heard, to have your partner ask how your day went, don’t you want your wife to do something nice for you just because?? Men aren’t one dimensional.

- What about … that time? Women really don’t want to have sex everyday of the month if you know what I mean!!!

- Does consent go out the door for a challenge given by your pastor?? What if you are tired or just not in the mood? Are they advocating marital rape? (Remember if your partner says no and you keep saying yes; we’d call that date rape among our teens.)

- Check out the logo. Objectification, Objectification it is EVERYWHERE - high heels, short skirt, shinny smooth tan-fit legs all wrapped around a man - most men's fantasy. While the men are fully clothed – nothing special!! And the one’s having sex are professionally dress = successful. Need we go on….

Now for some reason I (Christy) am called opinionated. Now I do find that label offensive. Yep I have opinions, we all do. But I share mine when asked (unless you read my blog, then you chose to hear it!) and when I've thought through an issue. (But too often I have to hear other Christian’s random, thoughtless, disrespectful opinions - who think that just because I am a Christian too I share that thought. Don't be quick to paint me with the same brush!!) I am ALWAYS open to seeking first to understand. Now I have read this article several place watched a couple of videos and gone to the website. They do have a questionnaire that deals with more than sex for the couples to think about. But my question is do they have enough trained counselors on hand for all the issues that will come up just by having couples honestly answer these questions?? (This questionnaire almost ruined my relationship with Marcus early into our marriage!) So if you disagree with me or know more about the church I’d love to hear it. But if not, don’t call me opinionated call me passionate about healthy sexuality, sexuality the way God intended it not westernized thoughts. God bless Relevant Church for talking about sex and allowing their members to share their opinions (the church must talk openly about sex). In my opinion, this just wasn't the best way to reach stronger, healthier relationships - but we live in a world that wants to be entertained and shocked. But we are also to be in the world not of it!

So here is a bold "opinioned" statement:

Mega Churches Enough with your Shock Value Sermons - God doesn't need them or want them. Stop entertaining and try the Great "Suggestion" start making disciples of Christ, not yourselves!!

by Christy and Marcus

Monday, February 4, 2008

It's Been One Week...

(That title would make a catchy little pop song!!)
It has been a week since I've left Foothills Alliance to Engage-Reality, and what a week it has been. We have about 70 or so books on our dinning room table ready to be posted on our site as soon as we have a store up and running. It is crazy how long it takes to write something totally "new" and "orginal" (there's really nothing new under the sun, but we try)! I guess my first book will be out in a couple of YEARS!! But the designing, writing, and creative process is always fun, though overwhelming at times. It can be a daunting task explaining your passion on a website! Marcus and I have been reading some fabulous books (most will be available on the web-site soon; I'm learning how to give shameless plugs). But they have really challenged us to question our faith, to put action to our beliefs, and all the studing has brought us closer together. Which has made me realize why I'm not a fan of men and women only bible studys...we need each other to make sense of this world and the kingdom. Men and women work best together, side by side! I need his prospective and he needs mine. OK that was a free random sidenote! But as excited my week has been, I've praying for friends and family that aren't going through exciting times right now. We know God works all things for good and one day it will be exciting to see how God worked, but going through the valley is never easy. So realities are all very different, but our God is the same.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Random Political Observations

I am exhausted of campaign commercials. Do they realize NO ONE is saying anything new? But I have been aware of my surroundings lately. I just wanted to note some of the "bizarre" thoughts I've come across: (hope not to offend too many)

- a few weeks ago there was talk about capitol punishment - lethal injection is now "cruel and unusual punishment." So when is MURDER of any kind NOT CRUEL AND UNUSUAL???!!!

- all this talk of "pro-life" now with the presidential campaign, enough already, I am convinced that NOT ONE candidate is truly pro-life. As a matter of fact, I don't know too many people that are. How can we value one life over another, somehow I don't think that is biblical. So it doesn't make much sense to be antiabortion and pro-death penalty. (Just my opinion)

- and praise God that we finally live in a country that we have options - a black man and a woman running for President. That's change. You do realize that little Declaration of Independence saying, "All men are created equal" really meant all WHITE MEN. And while I'm on that, way to go Gov Mark Sanford for bringing out the inequality SC government was founded on.

- please stop using Jesus Christ to be your ticket into the oval office! Just stop it.

- And would someone PLEASE tell Cracker Barrel that brown rice is NOT a vegetable!

Here's what I think about the election: THERE'S NEVER BEEN A SAVIOR UP ON CAPITOL HILL -
I’m so tired of these mortal men
with their hands on their wallets and their hearts full of sin
scared of their enemies, scared of their friends
and always running for re-election
so come to DC if it be thy will
because we’ve never had a savior on Capitol Hill

you can always trust the devil or a politician
to be the devil or a politician
but beyond that friends you’d best beware
‘cause at the Pentagon bar they’re an inseparable pair
and as long as the lobbyists are paying their bills
we’ll never have a savior on Capitol Hill

[Bridge]
all of our problems gonna disappear
when we can whisper right in that President’s ear
he could walk right across the reflection pool
in his combat boots and ten thousand dollar suit

you can render unto Caesar everything that’s his
you can trust in his power to come to your defense
it’s the way of the world, the way of the gun
it’s the trading of an evil for a lesser one
so don’t hold your breath or your vote until
you think you’ve finally found a savior up on Capitol Hill

-Thank you again, by Mr. Derek Webb

Thursday, January 3, 2008

A New Year

A new year, time for a change. 2007 was the year for God to disturb life in our comfortable household. 2008 is the year for new things:
1. To put old ways of thinking aside
2. To bury parts of the past that had become so comfortable with, I didn't realize I was still holding on.
3. To separate Facts from Reality
4. To put Jesus' desires to action in our lives
5. A resignation!
6. And sooner or later...a baby!
God's doing a new thing!