There are several songs that I wished I had written in my lifetime. But at this point in my life, my thoughts and struggles (many being about the church); Derek Webb got to write them first!! (ha, not that I am in anyway comparing my pitiful rants to his writing!!) Society, and sadly the church, just takes whatever comes down the pike. We sit through a sermon and go "okay that's truth because the pastor said so." No one questions or studies for themselves anymore - it is too hard, so just let someone else have an opinion and we'll adopt it as our own without holding it to Scripture or our values and standards. All without any regard of how dangerous that can be. Here's a great video and one of those songs I wish I had written!
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Reality
I spent my 32nd birthday in an incredible way today. Believe it or not, I haven't truly celebrated my birthday in 16 years. However, I was determined that this year would be different. My not celebrating doesn't mean that good things didn't happen - I've bought a new car and closed on a house on December 15th. God has given me blessings and Marcus has worked really hard for 12 years to make sure I had good birthday's. But when your soul is wounded, blessings are sometimes hard to see. And when a soul bruised facts and reality can be distorted.
Marcus and I spent about 2 hours this morning with about 20 beautiful people feeding the down-and-out and homeless of our city. Most people I know would never spend a birthday serving others, especially those not in their socioeconomic background, and really not a birthday that they would consider a milestone. But that is exactly what made sense to me.
I met 65 year old, Mr. Brown. From Memphis, he' s moved a lot, but never goes anywhere without his harmonic and probably a Miller Light in his pocket. I spent a lot of time just sitting and listening to his stories (and did he have some stories?!). He played with Chuck Berry, Al Green and Marvin Gay "back in the day"- even had a few stories of their private lives. He is a bass player, says he has an upright bass, and is a soulful singer. If you look in his eyes, you'll know he has seen better days and been tough difficult years. There are moments he is still thankful and even gives the advice of "Keep your stuff, don't give it away! You never know when you'll need it again." But truth is all that he has is that old harmonic, a Miller Light, the food we just gave him and whatever is in his white trash bag that he carries over his shoulder.
Then Steven stopped by. Now Steven has always dropped in on cook out days; for a burger of course, but more so for the conversation. If you saw Steven walking down the street with his dog you'd probably cross over. He is probably not as old as he looks and doesn't see a razor often, but he loves his dog and will feed it before himself any day. You'd think he was homeless, but he has a modest job and a simple house. Steven has stories too. He earned a Master's degree and had a good paying job - but found drugs and lost it all. He told us about his wealthy brother who "writes a check for $500 to his church every week but he is the most mean-spirited man he knows." Today Steven did something I've never expected, he pulled me aside, handed me a bag and said, "You give these out to those you think need it. It's cold, people need gloves." With tears in my eyes I took the bag, shook his hand tightly, and told him thank you. I looked in the bag and there were probably a dozen yard gloves from the Feed and Seed store down the street. Then I looked around at the crowd of about 40 men and women, I was a little overwhelmed. I thought - "Who needs these the most?" "Where do I start?" The first pair a give out was to a grateful man, who said, "Thank you, but can get an extra pair for my friend over by the cars? He won't come over." I hesitated, thinking there aren't enough, but handed him a pair anyway. Then I gave some to a group of 4 or 5 guys, then a few women. When the food line started people the began asking for gloves. Remember in my glance in the small bag - 12 gloves. Most adults in the line got a pair of gloves!?! You do the math! I can't explain it, it was just GOD.
The fact is Steven doesn't have much. But the reality is he saw a need, gave what he could and God took care of the rest. We really confuse facts with reality. Fact is people look at Mr. Brown and see a nobody. But the reality is that he is royalty in God's eyes.
The fact is I wasted a whole lot of years not truly valuing a life that God gave me. I held on to the past - one birthday that was pretty horrible. An unfolding of a year's worth of abuses and manipulation in one day. The fact is by holding on to that moment, I was allowing someone else to define my reality. The fact is some bad things happened...and happen to all of us, but the reality is holding on, holds us back. Whether it is one day or a lifetime. God created us all in his image, we all have value and purpose. We just have move on, let go, believe, and trust.
SO I celebrated today - with some really great people, with really great stories. Probably not many people know that for 16 years I've hated my birthday, but that was my reality. We don't know other's reality. Sometime we know the facts, but that doesn't define reality. So dare to engage in the reality of others!
Marcus and I spent about 2 hours this morning with about 20 beautiful people feeding the down-and-out and homeless of our city. Most people I know would never spend a birthday serving others, especially those not in their socioeconomic background, and really not a birthday that they would consider a milestone. But that is exactly what made sense to me.
I met 65 year old, Mr. Brown. From Memphis, he' s moved a lot, but never goes anywhere without his harmonic and probably a Miller Light in his pocket. I spent a lot of time just sitting and listening to his stories (and did he have some stories?!). He played with Chuck Berry, Al Green and Marvin Gay "back in the day"- even had a few stories of their private lives. He is a bass player, says he has an upright bass, and is a soulful singer. If you look in his eyes, you'll know he has seen better days and been tough difficult years. There are moments he is still thankful and even gives the advice of "Keep your stuff, don't give it away! You never know when you'll need it again." But truth is all that he has is that old harmonic, a Miller Light, the food we just gave him and whatever is in his white trash bag that he carries over his shoulder.
Then Steven stopped by. Now Steven has always dropped in on cook out days; for a burger of course, but more so for the conversation. If you saw Steven walking down the street with his dog you'd probably cross over. He is probably not as old as he looks and doesn't see a razor often, but he loves his dog and will feed it before himself any day. You'd think he was homeless, but he has a modest job and a simple house. Steven has stories too. He earned a Master's degree and had a good paying job - but found drugs and lost it all. He told us about his wealthy brother who "writes a check for $500 to his church every week but he is the most mean-spirited man he knows." Today Steven did something I've never expected, he pulled me aside, handed me a bag and said, "You give these out to those you think need it. It's cold, people need gloves." With tears in my eyes I took the bag, shook his hand tightly, and told him thank you. I looked in the bag and there were probably a dozen yard gloves from the Feed and Seed store down the street. Then I looked around at the crowd of about 40 men and women, I was a little overwhelmed. I thought - "Who needs these the most?" "Where do I start?" The first pair a give out was to a grateful man, who said, "Thank you, but can get an extra pair for my friend over by the cars? He won't come over." I hesitated, thinking there aren't enough, but handed him a pair anyway. Then I gave some to a group of 4 or 5 guys, then a few women. When the food line started people the began asking for gloves. Remember in my glance in the small bag - 12 gloves. Most adults in the line got a pair of gloves!?! You do the math! I can't explain it, it was just GOD.
The fact is Steven doesn't have much. But the reality is he saw a need, gave what he could and God took care of the rest. We really confuse facts with reality. Fact is people look at Mr. Brown and see a nobody. But the reality is that he is royalty in God's eyes.
The fact is I wasted a whole lot of years not truly valuing a life that God gave me. I held on to the past - one birthday that was pretty horrible. An unfolding of a year's worth of abuses and manipulation in one day. The fact is by holding on to that moment, I was allowing someone else to define my reality. The fact is some bad things happened...and happen to all of us, but the reality is holding on, holds us back. Whether it is one day or a lifetime. God created us all in his image, we all have value and purpose. We just have move on, let go, believe, and trust.
SO I celebrated today - with some really great people, with really great stories. Probably not many people know that for 16 years I've hated my birthday, but that was my reality. We don't know other's reality. Sometime we know the facts, but that doesn't define reality. So dare to engage in the reality of others!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
What's THIS??
Well, I sat down to blog about politics and Christians, but another day.
Here is a much happier picture!!!! Raymond's just checking out the new nursery and not too sure about this new turtle!!
This will calm any outrage for a little while.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
World Aids Day - 6,000 reason to care...
Today, like every day, 6,000 children will lose a parent to AIDS. Yet there is hope. We have it as Christians, yet how many churches this Sunday will even mention the AIDS epidemic in Africa?? Just 5 minutes to bring awareness can change thought patterns and begin a movement to changes lives.
Hundreds of years ago the church served as the major social justice agency. What happened? Today, sadly, we leave that up to governments or some other charitable agency, that many times are not offering Christ's hope but just temporary relief.
"Learn to do right! Seek Justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow." Isaiah 1:17
So DO SOMETHING today. Make yourself aware of the problems and solutions, pray, or read.
Surely we can change...SOMETHING.
Just click below for information on World AIDS Day:
Hundreds of years ago the church served as the major social justice agency. What happened? Today, sadly, we leave that up to governments or some other charitable agency, that many times are not offering Christ's hope but just temporary relief.
"Learn to do right! Seek Justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow." Isaiah 1:17
So DO SOMETHING today. Make yourself aware of the problems and solutions, pray, or read.
Surely we can change...SOMETHING.
Just click below for information on World AIDS Day:
Monday, November 26, 2007
What I'm Reading ...
By Christine Caine
I could have totally knocked the first half of this book out tonight! (The last half is a 30 day devotional.) It is incredible, a total God appointed book and time. Never heard of Christine before, I was just walking down the Christian Living isle at Books-A-Million and the title caught my eye (what a concept!!!). I have been highlighting like a mad woman, journaling, and studying - I don't want to miss anything!! Read it if you dare!!
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Thankfulness
Well, despite the clumsiness and mishaps of the weekend (falling down while walking the dog, dropping a plate and breaking a glass at the Thanksgiving meal, and getting bit while breaking up a dog fight) I still have a few things to be thankful for...(in no particular order!)
- Marcus, the best husband and best friend anyone could ever ask for! He is the only person I can spend every waking moment with and not want to commit a felony. Most days I can't believe he choose me!
- Our 4-legged, furry children - all 6 of them!
- Knowing that God is in control of our future family plans and the one to come.
- The gift of music. I say gift, because for me that's what it is, one of those extras from God.
- The moment that guitars brought conversation back between my brothers and me.
- Family... God given and those chosen (friends).
- Peace of mind
- Home
- Did I mention my red-hot husband???
- Waiting and being uncomfortable
- Our church, and the REAL people it is made of.
- GOD, for creation, sacrifice, breath, love, forgiveness, hope, strength, justice, counsel, peace, salvation, and purpose for living.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Waiting, anyone?
I have sat down to post a couple of times in the last week or so, even had some decent ideas, but I said I'd wait for later. We have been to some great concerts, found some great new music, read some great articles and stories, there have been even a few great movies. There hasn't been a lack of things to write about. I think I've just been waiting on...something else.
God has been steadily putting things on the table for me to think about, and I have just been trying to listen and wait. What a painful word right now, but it IS my life at this season! I have never been good at it, I never even been decent at it. But that is where I am with everything right now: just waiting. How does that happen all at once??? I don't know. But waiting and grieving at the same time is just one thing...misery. But you have to get through grieving to move on. (And that is a very different blog!)
Waiting makes you ask stupid things like: What did I do, that they have this but I can't? Or what didn't I do? Why is this happening to me (or us)? Wow, it can really make you selfish if you let it!! But really, I am okay in the waiting this time, because I know it is all in God's timing. I know that sounds cliche' but the older I get I realize that I don't want that watch, I just screw things up.
So I don't have a lot of answers right now for anything in my life. That's okay, I don't think the world will stop and in 5 years all of this will seem like minutes. God has proven faithful throughout my life, even when I dared or cursed him. God will continue to be faithful, he has given me a new promise:
"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" -Isaiah 30:18
One day I will figure this all out and maybe have a great story to share, but for now I'll wait.
God has been steadily putting things on the table for me to think about, and I have just been trying to listen and wait. What a painful word right now, but it IS my life at this season! I have never been good at it, I never even been decent at it. But that is where I am with everything right now: just waiting. How does that happen all at once??? I don't know. But waiting and grieving at the same time is just one thing...misery. But you have to get through grieving to move on. (And that is a very different blog!)
Waiting makes you ask stupid things like: What did I do, that they have this but I can't? Or what didn't I do? Why is this happening to me (or us)? Wow, it can really make you selfish if you let it!! But really, I am okay in the waiting this time, because I know it is all in God's timing. I know that sounds cliche' but the older I get I realize that I don't want that watch, I just screw things up.
So I don't have a lot of answers right now for anything in my life. That's okay, I don't think the world will stop and in 5 years all of this will seem like minutes. God has proven faithful throughout my life, even when I dared or cursed him. God will continue to be faithful, he has given me a new promise:
"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" -Isaiah 30:18
One day I will figure this all out and maybe have a great story to share, but for now I'll wait.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
